Punk You Ass Hole

  Blame it on the music. Punk has been fueling my desire to burn shit down and question just for the sake of questioning for as long as I can remember. I was 12ish (the fall of 1987) when a friend of mine handed me a cassette tape- The Dead Kennedys "In God We Trust Inc" on side A and The Misfits "Walk Among Us" on side B (I was to learn later that I only had half of Walk Among Us).  Punk wasn't the only music I was listening to at the time but it certainly flipped a switch in my brain like no other music had before.  If I have ever had anything close to a religion, it's been punk music.

  This is what hard core punk looked like when I was a kid.  No tattoos (I have plenty now) no fancy clothes, no mohawks, just something to say and shitty instruments.  I miss this level of sincerity,  the commitment to the message. It's still out there,  but you have to weed through the fashion to find it now.  Religious Vomit is one of my all times favorites.  The Dee-Kay's in their prime had a message that still resonates to the core of some of the current sociopolitical movements.  Here's a few of my favorites that still ring as true today as the day they where released.

Bad religion, You Are The Government from the Album Suffer released in 1988.

T.S.O.L.,  Abolish Government/Silent Majority from the T.S.O.L. E.P. released in 1981

Black Flag, Rise Above from the Album Damaged released 1981

Agent Orange, America from the Blood Stains E.P. released in 1980

  Most of these songs are more then 25 years old, and most of them still carry the feeling I would like to convey to my kids.  The feeling that action must be taken, that the time for politeness is done.  Shit has got to change and we have to get with it!  My wife and I still go to shows, but the perspective has changed.  It's more about how I can make a positive change in my immediate surroundings, how do I make my street, my neighborhood, my city better.  Changing the world is for the youth. Giving them the tools to do it, now that's right up my alley! When I was my daughters age, we read fanzines and went to shows to share ideas with like minded kids, it's way different nowadays! The funny thing is the way they share ideas and information is vastly superior  to the way I did it 25 years ago.  They get world perspective, 24/7 at their finger tips.  They get the raw data and process it themselves.  They are so much better geared to fight the revolution that is clearly on the horizon (and by fight, I'm more than certain that they will figure a way to do it with less bloodshed then ever before.)  These were my songs, the seeds that grew into the ideals and views I still hold dear to this very day. Enjoy. 

National Day of Prayer (or as I like to call it "Pretending to Masturbate" day)

  Well, it's that time of year again.  Time to bow our heads, clasp our hands together and murmur to which ever deity you currently worship to pretty pretty please with sugar on top and a big fat fucking cherry magically make this place, country, world, or your paycheck better.

 Welcome to National Day of Prayer 2012, Thursday May 3rd.  It's been going on since the early 50's and if you believe the rhetoric coming out of  the current "christian nation" regarding the state of this country and its downward spiral into godlessness it apparently hasn't done one bit of good.  If they have been praying over the last 70 years for the good ole U.S. of A. to become a more prosperous nation and to smite all of these godless, homosexual, liberal, socialist, communist, lazy, hippy, immigrant, traitors,  why the hell hasn't it worked yet?   What did Einstien (attributed quote, I couldn't find citation) say about doing the same thing over and over again, expecting the same results?

  Because prayer is like pretending to masturbate.

   What the fuck is this guy talking about??  Give me a second, I'll get us there. You see, at least with masturbation there is a real and positive outcome.  Regardless of how self gratifying the act is, it still accomplishes what it sets out to do.  Pretending to masturbate on the other hand (pun totally intended) is still a self gratifying act, but accomplishes nothing.   I equate prayer to exactly that.  It's a way to feel connected to something greater then yourself, while pretending to do something to help the world around you.  It is quite simply lazy.

  So, to all my agnostic, atheist, free thinking, skeptic, bright, anti-theist, irreligious, secular, or humanist NON participants in Thursdays pretend circle jerk, I offer you this alternative public physical gesture.   This can be done whether you're male or female. If you should happen upon any participants of National Day of Prayer, try this.

1. With your arm outstretched in front of you, make a fist.
2. Rotate your fist outward (clock wise for your right hand, counter clock wise for your left)
3. Bring your fist (thumb should be on top) to the level of your belly button.
4. Begin making an up and down motion (pointed slightly away from you) with your fist, bending at the elbow.
5. Continue to make up and down motion (feel free to vary your speed and range of motion) while hoping out loud for a problem to go away.  Things I like to say are "I hope these starving kids in the world get some food", or "I'm voting for [insert Republican nominee or bible based measure here]."  Sing a song, or just make a simple proclamation.  Try "Jesus Loves the Little Children" or shout out over and over "Mohammed is the man"...
6. Continue for as long as you'd like.
7. When you are ready to conclude your praying, on your final upstroke,  extend your fingers out as if you were tossing dice and yell "Hallelujah" or "Amen" (R'amen would be acceptable for my FSM friends.)
 or just moan
 
  If you haven't been arrested or verbally accosted by now,  you should thank whoever you've just "prayed" with and politely excuse yourself.  You have now participated in National Day of Prayer 2012.  Pat yourself on the back and continue doing whatever it was you were doing before you affected some great and positive change in this world by pretending to masturbate.

   Instead, maybe check to see if there are any National Day of Reason rallies near you.  Or maybe you could call a family member and tell them you love them,  volunteer for some community work, check in on an elderly neighbor, donate food to a food bank, or clothes to a secular charity.  Do anything at all, but just do something.  And instead of one day a year, shoot for once a month or one day a week. What ever your schedule permits.  I know we all have lives to live, jobs to work, kids to raise, spouses to love, pets to care for, we are all busy people. But we should all try to make some time to help out those less fortunate, to make a change for the better on our own streets, communities, cities, states, country and planet.

  Not because we want to go to heaven, not because we are afraid of hell.  But because roughly 237 million self identifying christians in America think that pretending to masterbate is really going to make a difference.

Finding My Balance

   I think the scariest part of self identifying as "atheist"  for me comes when it's time to face the people I love who are religious.   The ability to balance my own personal lack of respect for "god stories" and the people subscribing to them has been an effort of Olympic gymnast magnitude.  It's been difficult for me to reconcile my own duplicity in this.  The stranger (either on the interwebs, or on the street) doesn't get a warning shot.  If the topic of religion is broached,  I'm going in guns blazing. God help (pun intended) these people proselytizing in public or door to door.  And I refuse to apologize for this.  Yet when my brother-in-law or my mother-in-law wants to say a blessing at a restaurant I might give a little sigh and not participate, but I would never unleash the barrage of verbal vitriol reserved for a fellow human being that I simply haven't had the chance to develop a relationship with.

  Why is this?  How can I justify my own conceivably hypocritical behavior while condemning those acting the same way, but out of "faith".  From life long friends, to family-  I have religious people I love.  Every one of them participating in their faiths to varying degrees of commitment. I have open, continuous dialogue with some (my brother for instance) to a certain unspoken, sometimes uneasy agreement that it just wont be discussed with others.  But this still doesn't answer the why.

  I would like to think that it's because I have gotten to know these people.  That the reasons I respect and love them far outweighs the absurdity of their beliefs (and to be truthful, I do still think they are being absurd.) It seems as if I have always had a line in the sand,  a threshold of tolerance I have decided was acceptable for me.  The older I get though, the more it feels less and less like a line in the sand and more like a wall at a border.  The denizens have now become citizens regardless of their religious affiliations.

  This is where I have apparently become a tad bigoted. I can admit to and own that. Most people that feel strongly enough about their faith to share in a public forum are going to be the same people that would intrude upon my life and my rights by inserting their ideologies and moralities into policy or law.  And while I openly admit to thinking that my ideologies and world views are superior to theirs, its only in one simple aspect.  I don't want to take away a persons rights to believe in a supreme being, or the right to live their lives according to whatever doctrine they follow.  I am okay with you being scared of the spooky all powerful creator being in the sky who will dictate the rest of your eternity,  I'm just not okay with you telling me (or anybody else) I have to buy in as well.

  The last paragraph should be prefaced with it is my belief that there is never an acceptable time for those rules to be imposed upon anyone else, including their own children.  "The right to swing my fist, ends where the other mans nose begins." is I believe how the quote goes. The fact that the breadth of christianity accepts and participates in the mutilation of infant males sexual organs, but throws a fucking tizzy over a zygotes right to life blows my mind. And there is the conflict.

  So am I to tell other people they can't express their belief that homosexuality is morally wrong? Or that abortion should be banned because of your interpretations of a few verses in the bible?  To be frank, I'm nobody and I'm not.  I'm simply saying that laws shouldn't be made excluding homosexuals from rights afforded to heterosexual based on ancient religious texts. And that if you morally oppose abortion, then don't get one.  Can you see the distinction?

  But I'm getting away from it a bit.  It's difficult to remove my disdain for religion from the people practicing it.  If I could only meet this Jesus guy, so I could tell him how much of a total douche he/his dad is (this is not an admission of acceptance to the biblical Jesus being god.) Or explain to Mohammed that it's okay he's gay,  he doesn't have to hate women because of it.   But I can't, so I'm left to deal with the follows, and the leaders of these unscrupulous religions.

  So do I feel bad when I call somebody out over their religious beliefs?  No.   I don't have the time to get to know every believer in the world and decide whether or not they're a fucking shmuck.  I know they are a believer, and more often that not, that's good enough for me.  Will you get a chance to prove me wrong, should our paths cross?  Yeah, just don't expect to convince me by telling me how well you follow your doctrines.  Does that make me feel superior to them on a personal level? Nope.  Do I feel like I'm smarter? Nah,  I'm probably somewhere in the middle of average as far as measurable intelligence goes.  My family and my friends who are believers get a pass. My life, my rules.  Does that make me a hypocrite?  I'm sure that's up for debate.

  I find my thoughts and ideas constantly evolving, (a big difference between myself and somebody of faith) mostly I try to stay tolerant and positive.  Those closest to me do a wonderful job of pointing out when I'm being a complete and total prick, and I appreciate that.  I am in my own eyes a humanist first.  Atheism only describes a certain aspect of me.  I would also consider myself a very proactive anti-theist.  I'm just like most other people. I want to live my life freely. To find happiness and love, to try and make a positive impression on my children and the world around me.  I just do it without believing in any gods.  I have always had a hard time keeping my mouth shut.  Blame it on that damned punk music!!

A Declaration

• 
  

• The following is a portion of email correspondence between my brother and I.  It's written sort of ranty, I know, but that's how it came out when I originally wrote the email last September.  Let me preface this by saying that my brother and I have a wonderful relationship despite some fundamental differences on this very subject. He is an intelligent man, an good father, and wonderful husband.   I found myself reading these the other day, and felt compelled to share this one. It was my first vocalization, my first declaration to my brother that I had in fact decided to call a duck a duck (the duck being myself) 
• 
  
•    Look, I'm an atheist because actions speak louder then prayer. Because aligning myself morally with groups that preach misogyny, bigotry, homophobia, xenophobia more than reason, logic science and tolerance seems medieval at best.  I'm not saying that all people who adhere to any sort of religious dogmas are "evil" or "ignorant".  I am saying that for those people who are not, I find it amazing that they WOULD! My success is my doing, so are my failures.  People can do wonderful things without religion.  In any other aspect of humanity, if we took things we knew 2,000 years ago and still did them today, we would consider those people fools at best.  If a parent took a child to get bled by leaches to cure a fever instead of giving the child Tylenol, WOW there would be some fuss! But let a President of The United States of America say that he's prayed, and going to war is what god told him to do, we (figuratively as a country) wave flags, sing God Bless America and load the guns...  Strictly as literature the Bible (which ever version you read) is an incredible work.  Same as the Qu'ran, the Torah, the Book of Mormon, the Tipitaka and so on.  Can we really take these things seriously and literally anymore??  I would hope not.  Do a little pokin around on the interwebs.  Everyday,  every single day, religions rules and dogmas are the cause for murder, mutilation, and torture committed against men, women and children. EVERYDAY!  Please don't come back with "serial killers" or atheists who have committed crimes against humanity. The statistics are overwhelming.  These institutions (not the occasional nut jobs) are preaching from a perceived position of authority claiming that homosexuality is abhorrent and unnatural, that women are lesser humans, and should be treated as such and that nonbelievers should be killed.  They protect pedophiles in their midst, and they teach that when the world ends (however it does) it's a good thing because eternal life is waiting for them!  They fight scientific progress with rabble rousing and fear.  How many of these ideals are conducive (in your opinion) to humanities success and survival?  I won't bug you anymore with this.  I love you, and I love your family as well.  Not much could ever change that.  Maybe we should go play 9, drink some beers and not talk about anything important.  

The Evil Atheist Majority Feeding Christians to Lions

  Can I get an amen?  no, okay.  I'm getting pretty tired of reading about and hearing from politicians and christian leaders that say the persecution of their religion is the single most dangerous enemy to this country.  I'd like to take a look at some percentages, some definitions (I know, facts have never been a real big thing with religion in general.) and see if we can shed some light on the atrocities committed by atheists against the poor christian minority....

Defintion of minority

1   a: the period before attainment of majority

     b: the state of being a legal minor

2   : the smaller number of two groups constituting a whole; specifically : a group having less    then  the number of votes necessary for control

3   a: a part of the population differing from others in some characteristics and often subjected to differential treatment 

     b : a member of a minority group. 

  With nearly 78% of adult Americans* self identifying as Christian, I can't see how Christians can consider themselves a minority by any stretch of the imagination (unless they are speaking strictly about their individual brand, of which if you are christian and protestant you are in the majority no matter how you slice it).  Until you get to the third definition.  Here, there is some wiggle room.  Are Christians different from the population? Yes, they seperate themselves by their religious convictions. Are they often subjected to differential treatment?  That's the tricky part. The nuances of the words leave room for personal interpretation (is anybody shocked that Christianity will take a word, a verse, or an idea and bend it to fit their agenda?). And by taking that interpretation out one more step,  Caucasians are also a minority!    Lets move on, take a look and consider persecution. 

    Definition of persecute 

    

    1  a: to harass or punish in a manner designed to injure, grieve , or afflict; specifically : to cause to suffer because of belief.

    2  : to annoy with persistent or urgent approaches (as attacks, pleas, or importunities) : pester

  Another tricky definition.  The way I read the definition it seems to work for their argument.  But can you see how the war on terror could be easily construed as persecution of radical militant Islam?  And yet red blooded Christian Americans would see this as doing gods work.  In the case of the second definition I feel as if I am constantly being persecuted by, and persecuting my 12 year old son.  Circle gets the square?  I don't know, but it does appear that Christianity (even it's most moderate of practices) could be defined as being persecuted as well as doing some persecuting of its own.  I'd personally like to think that the idea of religious persecution hasn't been watered down so thin as to equate requests for human beings to act reasonably in regards to fellow human beings to the atrocities for instance; committed during the Spanish Inquisition. 


Can we take a look at how Christians should biblically embrace persecution?  I'd sure like to.

2 Timothy 3:12 Yea, and all those that would live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

 If you're not being persecuted, your doing it wrong according to the Christian handbook. Wanna see some more?  Me too! 


   Matthew 5:10-12   10 "Happy are those who have been persecuted for the sake of rightcheousness' sake, since the kingdom of the heavens belongs to them.  11 "Happy are you when people reproach you and lyingly say every sort of wicked thing against you for my sake. 12 Rejoice and leap for joy, since your reward is great in the heavens; for in that way they persecuted the prophets prior to you.  
  
  Isn't being a martyr fun!!!  


  I've only pulled two out but it's in the bible so it's gotta be true, right Christians?  Now, please stop your bitching and whining.  This is your lot in life while you enslave yourselves to superstitious mumbo jumbo.  I realize these are New testament verses, and that the fire and brimstone mother fuckers still want to go all old testament on everybody. But those fundies are a whole different breed.  


  This goes out to the Fox news watching moderates who get seriously butt hurt when somebody tells them that it's not okay to have a prayer banner in a high school, or that homosexuality does not destroy family values, (and gay marriage doesn't lead to dog fucking) that science cures and educates,  while prayer fails time and time again.  To the adults of average intelligence who stopped believing in Santa Clause, but still deeply believe that an invisible all powerful entity is responsible for all of their success, and that they are only being tested by this entities plan with their personal failures and tragedies.  Accept the choices you've made by abandoning rational thought or take responsibility for yourself.  How does the saying go?  Jesus may forgive you, but the rest of us think you're an asshole.


  While Christianity constantly tries to circumvent the rights provided ALL citizens of this country Constitutionally, to impose its certain brand of bigotry on 1/5 of the the total population all the while screaming about some perceived injustice because somebody stood up and said "No, that's not right." or because of being called out on blatant bullshit.  All I want is to be left to live happily, morally, and with dignity.  Without having any religion foisted upon me.  I say stay sedated,  warm and blissful in your ignorance if it suits you.  I won't deny you your shackles.  But I will not stand by and watch you attempt to shackle the rest of us.  The rumble of discontent gets louder and louder with every generation.
  

*http://religions.pewforum.org/reports 

Work Is My Favorite Place To Get My Christ On!

  Once again I get ear fucked by Jesus at work.   I was minding my own business, sitting at my desk (possibly checking my Face book) when my wonderful Office Manager pops her head in.  Let me start by explaining something- my office is 264 sq ft room in the middle of a 20,000 sq ft warehouse about 300 yards away from the main office.  Sheryl (that's what we'll call her) was diagnosed earlier this year with cancer.  She had no qualms at all after the diagnosis about sharing her belief that her god (She's a fundy christian) would determine the outcome of her life and for a short while eluded to the possibility of refusing medical treatments to remove the cancer as that might interfere with gods plan for her.  Any whoodle-  Sheryl pops her head in my door, and starts with the small talk- How have you been? Is everything going good? Do I have plans for my upcoming vacation?  I play nice, despite my outward  appearance and my curse laden rants on this blog I'm a pretty polite guy!  Next topical stop-  her hair growing back. More polite small talk, now I'm just hoping I get outta this whole thing soon because I think I just got a text message... Then, out of nowhere- BAM!  "You know Larry, I just thank the all mighty lord for taking this cancer out of my body, through him all things are possible".  Que awkward smile for me.  "Uhm, okay Sheryl" I reply.  Then as she retreats back out the door and I think I just got grazed by the bullet- she pops her head back in.  "Heavenly father deserves all the glory Larry,  and that's who I give it to. Don't you agree"? Que still awkward, now horrified smile "uhm, sure Sheryl".  I had officially been ear fucked by Jesus- again.

  Look,  I'm not trying to play the poor me card. Such is life in the work place, it's not always ideal.  But here's the catch.  If I was an office manager, and I walked up to ANYONE under me and through polite conversation tossed in a little "Hey,  how bout that whole god thing you believe in being a big ole joke?  A fairy tale, a myth, malarkey." or "I'm calling shenanigans on your bible, whats up?". Would I be seen as some  insensitive prick?  I think so.  Maybe I'd be written up, suspended or fired.  Who knows.  Thing is,  I would never do that.  My personal life is a matter I prefer to keep to myself.  The fact I am an atheist bears absolutely no weight on my ability to do my job (and to do it well I will add).  It just pisses me off that the stigma attached to atheism and my attachment to that word could very well be detrimental to my employment.  I have bills to pay, kids to feed, and a life to live. Advantage- bullying Christians (and they know it). You should have seen the gleam in her eyes, it was more then a little frightening.

  Here's the thing, you guys have churches for that kind of talk.  Really, I see em all over the place!  Chances are you go to one a few times a week.  Unless we car pool to that church together, assume (by all means in this regard) that I think your a fucking idiot and I'm personally offended by your lack of couth.  Now, if I happen to walk into your church feel free to bombard me with all the bullshit you can sling.  I asked for it,  I came to your place.  If I walk into your church and start telling you what I think about your beliefs, then I'm the total asshole and I can accept that. Please realize that your house, and your church are really the best places to keep your religion. I don't want to take it away from you, as that right has been afforded to you by the Constitution.  Just  keep it the fuck out the schools, the government, the work place and especially my office.

Fuck You Michigan

  Wow,  woke up this morning and read the news-  Michigan passes "Anti-bullying Bill" with a loophole so big, the entire Christian nation can fit through.  WHAT THE FUCK?  By now, you may have caught on to the fact that I have a hard on for the LGBT community (pun intended).  I have some very good friends and family who I can't stand to see discriminated against because of their sexual orientation (it's not a fucking "preference").  But this Bill goes much further then just the LGBT's.  Simply put, this bill affords anyone the right to bully anyone else if they can justify their speech with moral or religious convictions and or beliefs.  Now take a breath, this bill is not unconstitutional.  It is worded in a way that it doesn't endorse any specific religion, nor does it  name any specific religion or moral conviction that it prohibits.  Pretty much stating that "Hey, what ever form of hate you have is cool, as long as you're sincere about it." I'll provide a link to the bill at the bottom, as well as the section in question.

  I know what your thinking- "This guy is getting all steamed up again over some shit that doesn't have anything to  do with him.  That bill passed in Michigan, not in California!"  Bullshit,  this bill stinks worse then Prop 8 and that one passed here in my home state (which by most maps is considered a "blue" state.)  Imagine your daughter being harassed by the PARENTS of a fellow student, being called a whore, and being told that she was going to burn in hell because she was wearing lip gloss.  How about your son being told in class by the teacher or principal that he's an idiot for thinking that god doesn't exist (or simply believing in a different one) and that he should repent and accept the lord into his heart to avoid eternal damnation.  Hey Mormons- truth is, most born agains and a good percentage of the other Abrahamic factions don't think you're Christian.....   So even your kids could get bullied for being different.  While I find the irony of that somewhat comforting after the money their organization dumped into the Prop 8 campaign,  I will not stand for any child being abused and bullied (not even your Christian kids, which coincidentally aren't protected either.)

  The way the bill reads,  sincerity is the key to protection.  We all should be aware of what Leviticus tells about homosexuality and its consequences (I'm not going to argue the semantics of the scripture, lets just agree that it is generally misrepresented.) Are death threats now tolerable as long as we sincerely have a moral or religious conviction to them?  How about hate speech in general?  The Ku Klux Klan roots their racism and separatism deep in the bible.  How about it being okay for your kid to be called a nigger or a chink or a spic by a teacher, administrator, a fellow student, a fellow students parent, or even the yard supervisor?  Sick, sick shit.

  Bullying is about power.  This bill clearly shows that the Republican Majority (wanna guess what churches they're going to, or which god they're listening to?) in Michigan has the power.  Realistically, who is going to suffer because of this bill?  Is it going to be the Christian kids?  I admit that it's possible but I'd bet my paycheck that it's not likely.  As a parent I have an obligation to protect my children. As a human being, and a member of a neighborhood/city/state/country/planet I have an obligation to protect ALL children.  This bill does just the opposite as it's written.  One simple line shits on the entire premise of the bill by providing the only excuse this country needs to oppress, dehumanize, humiliate, or other wise cause emotional/physical distress and suffering to another human- Religion.

  My advice?  Contact Senator Gretchen Whitmer (I've included her email, and phone number)and tell her thank you for standing up for YOUR children.  Write your own Congressperson and Senator and let them know how much this bill disturbs you.  I hope you do. Otherwise, what are you going to do when it's your kid that's being bullied legally by their teacher?  This legislation could easily become law in what ever state you happen to be reading this in.

http://www.legislature.mi.gov/documents/2011-2012/billengrossed/Senate/pdf/2011-SEBS-0137.pdf

  SenGWhitmer@senate.michigan.gov   517-373-1734