Thursday, May 10, 2012

Punk You Ass Hole

  Blame it on the music. Punk has been fueling my desire to burn shit down and question just for the sake of questioning for as long as I can remember. I was 12ish (the fall of 1987) when a friend of mine handed me a cassette tape- The Dead Kennedys "In God We Trust Inc" on side A and The Misfits "Walk Among Us" on side B (I was to learn later that I only had half of Walk Among Us).  Punk wasn't the only music I was listening to at the time but it certainly flipped a switch in my brain like no other music had before.  If I have ever had anything close to a religion, it's been punk music.


  This is what hard core punk looked like when I was a kid.  No tattoos (I have plenty now) no fancy clothes, no mohawks, just something to say and shitty instruments.  I miss this level of sincerity,  the commitment to the message. It's still out there,  but you have to weed through the fashion to find it now.  Religious Vomit is one of my all times favorites.  The Dee-Kay's in their prime had a message that still resonates to the core of some of the current sociopolitical movements.  Here's a few of my favorites that still ring as true today as the day they where released.

Bad religion, You Are The Government from the Album Suffer released in 1988.


T.S.O.L.,  Abolish Government/Silent Majority from the T.S.O.L. E.P. released in 1981

Black Flag, Rise Above from the Album Damaged released 1981

Agent Orange, America from the Blood Stains E.P. released in 1980



  Most of these songs are more then 25 years old, and most of them still carry the feeling I would like to convey to my kids.  The feeling that action must be taken, that the time for politeness is done.  Shit has got to change and we have to get with it!  My wife and I still go to shows, but the perspective has changed.  It's more about how I can make a positive change in my immediate surroundings, how do I make my street, my neighborhood, my city better.  Changing the world is for the youth. Giving them the tools to do it, now that's right up my alley! When I was my daughters age, we read fanzines and went to shows to share ideas with like minded kids, it's way different nowadays! The funny thing is the way they share ideas and information is vastly superior  to the way I did it 25 years ago.  They get world perspective, 24/7 at their finger tips.  They get the raw data and process it themselves.  They are so much better geared to fight the revolution that is clearly on the horizon (and by fight, I'm more than certain that they will figure a way to do it with less bloodshed then ever before.)  These were my songs, the seeds that grew into the ideals and views I still hold dear to this very day. Enjoy. 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

National Day of Prayer (or as I like to call it "Pretending to Masturbate" day)

  Well, it's that time of year again.  Time to bow our heads, clasp our hands together and murmur to which ever deity you currently worship to pretty pretty please with sugar on top and a big fat fucking cherry magically make this place, country, world, or your paycheck better.

 Welcome to National Day of Prayer 2012, Thursday May 3rd.  It's been going on since the early 50's and if you believe the rhetoric coming out of  the current "christian nation" regarding the state of this country and its downward spiral into godlessness it apparently hasn't done one bit of good.  If they have been praying over the last 70 years for the good ole U.S. of A. to become a more prosperous nation and to smite all of these godless, homosexual, liberal, socialist, communist, lazy, hippy, immigrant, traitors,  why the hell hasn't it worked yet?   What did Einstien (attributed quote, I couldn't find citation) say about doing the same thing over and over again, expecting the same results?

  Because prayer is like pretending to masturbate.

   What the fuck is this guy talking about??  Give me a second, I'll get us there. You see, at least with masturbation there is a real and positive outcome.  Regardless of how self gratifying the act is, it still accomplishes what it sets out to do.  Pretending to masturbate on the other hand (pun totally intended) is still a self gratifying act, but accomplishes nothing.   I equate prayer to exactly that.  It's a way to feel connected to something greater then yourself, while pretending to do something to help the world around you.  It is quite simply lazy.

  So, to all my agnostic, atheist, free thinking, skeptic, bright, anti-theist, irreligious, secular, or humanist NON participants in Thursdays pretend circle jerk, I offer you this alternative public physical gesture.   This can be done whether you're male or female. If you should happen upon any participants of National Day of Prayer, try this.

1. With your arm outstretched in front of you, make a fist.
2. Rotate your fist outward (clock wise for your right hand, counter clock wise for your left)
3. Bring your fist (thumb should be on top) to the level of your belly button.
4. Begin making an up and down motion (pointed slightly away from you) with your fist, bending at the elbow.
5. Continue to make up and down motion (feel free to vary your speed and range of motion) while hoping out loud for a problem to go away.  Things I like to say are "I hope these starving kids in the world get some food", or "I'm voting for [insert Republican nominee or bible based measure here]."  Sing a song, or just make a simple proclamation.  Try "Jesus Loves the Little Children" or shout out over and over "Mohammed is the man"...
6. Continue for as long as you'd like.
7. When you are ready to conclude your praying, on your final upstroke,  extend your fingers out as if you were tossing dice and yell "Hallelujah" or "Amen" (R'amen would be acceptable for my FSM friends.)
 or just moan
 
  If you haven't been arrested or verbally accosted by now,  you should thank whoever you've just "prayed" with and politely excuse yourself.  You have now participated in National Day of Prayer 2012.  Pat yourself on the back and continue doing whatever it was you were doing before you affected some great and positive change in this world by pretending to masturbate.

   Instead, maybe check to see if there are any National Day of Reason rallies near you.  Or maybe you could call a family member and tell them you love them,  volunteer for some community work, check in on an elderly neighbor, donate food to a food bank, or clothes to a secular charity.  Do anything at all, but just do something.  And instead of one day a year, shoot for once a month or one day a week. What ever your schedule permits.  I know we all have lives to live, jobs to work, kids to raise, spouses to love, pets to care for, we are all busy people. But we should all try to make some time to help out those less fortunate, to make a change for the better on our own streets, communities, cities, states, country and planet.

  Not because we want to go to heaven, not because we are afraid of hell.  But because roughly 237 million self identifying christians in America think that pretending to masterbate is really going to make a difference.